I’m just gonna throw it out there, I’m really not the biggest fan of my real name, Monica. I feel like it has this stuck up, snobby connotation to it. You probably wondering what this has to do with a cup of joe…well I ain’t gonna tell ya quite yet. I like to keep you guys on the edge of your seat. All my life I’ve gone by Moni, which rarely ever is pronounced how it should be. Shoot, you all probably aren’t even reading it right in your head, unless you know me of course. But for those who don’t, its pronounced like “pony” but with an “m”. There’s a long list of names that people think are Moni…Mauny, Moony, Money, Mommy, Monique, Moniqua, Marni, Barney, Beyonce…jk but people seem to be completely convinced I’m black and like to add a little pizzaz to my rather ordinary white girl name. Best yet, not only do people mess up my first name, but they just fully blow it with my last name. Brians. It seems so simple, yet I can’t begin to count the number of times people have said Brains. I bet some of y’all even read it Brains instead of Brians…shame on you! Topping off the list of best screwing up my name has got to be fifth grade graduation. Yep, I’m in college and I’m still holding that grudge. It was that bad. My favorite teacher, the PE teacher of course, was reading off every kids name as they crossed the stage. I was literally her favorite, at least that’s what I told myself. I knew she knew my name and who I was cause she called me by name every time in class, when she called me out for misbehaving…kidding, I was an angel…or something along those lines. But I’m assuming she’d never seem my name written, cause when she read my name off my fifth grade diploma it certainly wasn’t the same name that is on my birth certificate…Mauny Brains. That’s right. My first graduation ceremony ever and neither one of my names were actually read. It kills me still. And every first day of class its the same thing over and over again. “Mauny Brians, are you here?” “Uh…yeah that’s me, but its pronounced like pony with an m….” EVERY CLASS. EVERY YEAR.
So this cup of joe…what’s it got to do with anything? Now a days when you go and get coffee (all my basic white girls know what I’m talking about…) they try to make the experience all personal and stuff and put your name on your cup and everything, how sweet of them…Except for the fact that they never get my name right…Homegirl here was just trying to get some coffee from Hill of Beans at DH Hill and the girl calls out “Monique” I look around. No one is claiming it. I guess that’s mine…. You’d think I’d be used to this by now, but nope! I just have too high of expectations for people I guess. The saddest part of this story tho is that they swipe your student ID (which has your name printed across the top of it) when you buy a drink and then proceed to write your name on the cup. Apparently I must just really look like a Monique or something? Who would have ever guessed your typical ginger white girl looks like a Monique… But its all good cause that Dark Cafe Mocha Latte is the best drink on the menu and is like heaven in my mouth. That one shot of espresso in there keeps me going until the wee hours of the morning. I’m knocking out work left and right, cranking out right answer after right answer. It’s my miracle drug. Caffeine. It’s a beautiful invention and 100% necessary in college! I don’t even want to think about how many calories are in that drink, or how coffee stains your teeth, or the negative effects of caffeine, or how bad it is that I go to bed late, and who knows what else is bad with it. It works for me and keeps me going. And as the saying goes, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” So I’ll be Monique every day if that means I can get me some cup of joe!